The direction of mass media

I have to write this before it slips my memory. My wife is asleep on the floor, face down, and I anticipate that I will be joining her shortly, and the more sleeps between me and the spectacle on the news earlier this week, the more likely I will forget.

It was Thursday, and the noontime news blazed in my television screen. Those poor saps, they have been in makeup since the wee hours, powder-puffed beneath the studio lights while most people are still sound in their beds. The noon broadcast is the end of their day. They are calling it in, the bottle in their desk drawer whispers loudly.

Congress had arrived at a compromise on the economic stimulus legislation, with Republicans loudly clamoring for concessions then voting against it anyway - with a few defectors however. The newswoman blinked into the camera. "And it looks like a victory for President Obama's massive package."

She knew immediately what she had done. Her ears brightened and her eyes watered, but it was difficult to say why... Was she just incredibly embarrassed by her thoughtless wording, was she holding in a huge guffaw, had she been set up by a mischievous TelePrompTer operator?

Her coanchor was a much easier read. After several seconds of uncomfortable air staring into those big dow eyes, the camera panned back to the larger picture. Beside the blinking, silent woman sat a remarkably red man. His lips were pursed and a vein was pushing out of his forehead. Either his tie was fatally too tight, or he was about to burst into spasms of middle-schooler giggles. Suddenly, he coughed very abruptly and picked up his glass of water.

As he took a very long drink, you could hear his sputtering breath behind the mug. By this time, the woman had lowered her head and now sat with her eyes locked on the desk. "Ahem!" the man exclaimed. "Sorry, I had something in my throat," and as he spoke the corners of his mouth betrayed the smirk that desperately tried to force it's self outward.

"And in our final story, we're going to tell you why lots of local fishermen are hoping you want to give your valentine crabs..."