Adventurous consumerism

I bought new underwear a few days ago, two pairs of red and blue striped under-shorts, the premiums. I'm still on the fence about them. My confidence in the capitalist market was first shaken by the absence of medium size Hanes tagless. There was an abundance of petite and large, even extra large and double x. I truly considered buying the large, my yearning for boxer-shorts-sans-tag was so strong. But we all know the perils of underpants that are too loose.

I tapped my forefinger against my front teeth and pondered my options. I began to sweat. Triple pack of standards, jumbo pack of economy quality, patterned, striped, themed ... or the premiums. In my humble opinion, it is a tarnish on the name Hanes that they dare label underpants as premium and still sew tags into the waistband.

There was one other factor that factored into my decision factoring. The purchase would be made with a shiny Target gift card. My budget would be unaffected. Pitching caution to the wind like a soiled sock, I strode with jolly confidence to the cash register, sparse two-pack of top of the line garments in hand.

Upon my arrival back at home, I shed my old vesture and tore into my new investment. I was apprehensive about the tighter thighs, but the fabric was soft and the elastic stretchy. For any of you who are following this story with a vested interest, I will surely pen a follow-up once the proper molding time has elapsed.