New job...

Its hard to say what causes the general feeling of angst that settles over me within the first two hours of being here. It is definetly quiet around my cubicle, the only real obtrusion into the otherwise silent space is keyboard clicks and sighing. Maybe I just get nervous around so many people wearing glasses.

I still have no computer, no voicemail and no real sense of what my main objective is. The assistant to the manager's assistant feels very badly about the hardware situation. I first met her on my second day. After twiddling my thumbs for several hours, I was finally able to corner my boss between his meetings. He stood in the hallway eating a rough looking salad from a plastic container, looking puzzled when I asked, "So, Loay is busy and I don't really know what I should be doing right now."

"Um," he looked around as if he wasn't sure who I was or why I was asking him for direction. "Go upstairs and find Jen. Ask her where the pens are, or something."

"Who's Jen?" I asked.

He replied over his shoulder as he ducked into the meeting room. "My assistant's assistant," he said with a mouthful of lettuce.

Jen showed me to the office supply cabinet. It brimmed with batteries and ink-jet cartridges, but the only notepads were graphing paper and the choice of pens limited to 2 varieties, both cheap. Apparently people use laptops around here for everything, but they don't have a spare for me.

After another day of putzing, I asked Jen for a computer mouse and was given a dozen to choose from. An hour later I requested a calculator. She rummaged through drawers bursting with candy and cookies and assorted sweets before locating a bruised pocket Casio similar to what banks give out to 10-year-olds who open a checking account. Then I asked for a ruler, which was even more difficult to procure. "Do you happen to have an abacus?" She actually started to look around before I stopped her.

So now at my desk I have a file cabinet, a wire shelving system, three clear plastic cubes containing paper clips, binder clips and thumbtacks, a staple remover but no stapler, two kinds of tape, a ruler, a calculator and a keyboard, mouse and gigantic twin monitors, but no computer.

I walk around quite a bit, because the fear of being cornered by a superior and interrogated about my productivity is far easier to take than the weird emptiness around my office space. The break room near my desk has a high-tech water and ice dispenser that uses radio frequencies to detect when you are holding a cup under it, but there is no silverware or plates. I asked Loay where I could find a spoon and was directed to the official cafeteria nearly a half-mile away across the sprawling multi-acre compound.

Several e-mails have now informed me that my computer has been ordered, and most are followed by messages that the orders have been canceled for one reason or another. Today is Thursday, August 13th. My original order was placed Tuesday, July 13th.

This is my first time working for a major corporation, and I don't understand how anybody could ever feel comfortable in a place like this.